| "Planning for Eldercare" March 17 , 2009 | Return to Article Page | Eldercare & Veterans Benefits Books | |
| The Personal Care Attendant Guide The Art of Finding, Keeping, or Being One by Katie Rodriguez Banister |
This article reprinted with permission from the National Care Planning Council for non-commercial use. Find original article at this webaddress: http://www.longtermcarelink.net/article-2009-4-23.htm |
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Helping Your Older Parents Stay Happy and Healthy
by Robert Stall MD, Geriatrician
If you're fortunate enough to have one or both parents still living, you may have noticed
a role reversal taking place in your relationship. Remember the days when Mom
shuttled you to the doctor whenever you were sick? Now, it may be you who's driving
her to her medical appointments. Perhaps you've become even more involved in
managing her healthcare needs – serving as her healthcare proxy, moving her into your
home to care for her, or even having to select a nursing home for her to live in.
Whatever the case, it's natural to feel challenged – and, yes, intimidated – in the role
you've undertaken. But if you stay positive and proactive, you'll be in a great position to
advocate for your parents' optimal care. And, really, what better way is there to say
"Thank You" for all they've done for you over the years?
The following six recommendations will help you understand what may be happening to
your parents as they age – and what you can do to help.
1. Stay vigilant to sudden changes.
Typically, sudden changes arise from sudden problems. Your elderly father who
becomes confused one week but was alert and oriented the week before, or becomes
unsteady walking and starts falling, is likely experiencing an acute problem – an
infection, medication side effect, or perhaps, a heart attack or stroke.
If you pay attention to your parent's baseline health and behavior, you'll be alert to
sudden, and subtle, fluctuations. Being attuned to what's “normal” for your parent is
critical in advocating for his care. By informing his physician of these changes, you help
ensure that he receives a proper diagnosis and timely treatment – especially important
in acute conditions.
2. Investigate the source of gradual decline.
Several years ago, I met an elderly woman living in a nursing home. Her family,
assuming she had dementia, had moved her there after she had gradually stopped
speaking.
After performing a brief procedure on her, I asked how she was doing. “I'm OK,” she
replied.
A miracle? Not exactly. I'd removed bullet-sized pieces of wax from her ears. She'd
stopped speaking because her ears were too plugged to hear.
A host of conditions can cause gradual decline. Before jumping to the conclusion – as
many people do – that Alzheimer's disease is the culprit, recognize that your parent
may be experiencing an altogether different problem: a vitamin B12 deficiency, an
underactive thyroid, Parkinson's disease or depression, to name a few.
When discussing your parent's decline with her physician, make sure the two of you
consider all the possibilities. To prepare for the appointment, make notes detailing how
her decline has manifested itself – loss of appetite, a failing short-term memory and so
forth – and how long you've noticed these changes. That way, you won't leave anything
out. To help you, I've created a free checklist that either you or your parent can
complete at seniorselfassessment.com – make sure you print or email the
“Test Result Details” at the bottom of the page to analyze your responses and
give you advice based on your answers.
3. Know thy parent's medicine cabinet.
Familiarize yourself with the medications your parent takes: what each one is for and
how often he takes them. Make sure you notify each doctor your parent visits of all the
medicine he takes, including over-the-counter products. Ask what side effects you
might observe from each medication and whether it's potentially dangerous if your
parent takes them together. You also want to tell the doctor whether your parent drinks
alcohol or caffeinated drinks and whether he smokes, as these substances can affect
some medications' efficacy and safety. To recognize which medications might cause
the symptoms your parent experiences,
check out drugscanmakeyousick.com .
4. Discourage ageist attitudes.
Simply put, ageism is prejudice against the elderly. It exists in many forms but can be
particularly damaging to an older person's self-esteem when it assumes that all of her
woes are age-related. Here are a couple of ways of expressing ageism to an elderly
parent:
“What do you expect at your age?”
“You're not getting any younger.”
If you're ever tempted to utter something similar, remind yourself that by chalking up
everything that ails her to her age, you sell your parent short. If she's depressed, it may
have nothing to do with the fact that she's 80 and everything to do with a biological
predisposition to depression. And remember that right-knee pain in a 90 year-old can't
be just from age if there's no problem with her left knee. (More about Dr. Stall and a
more in-depth article on the attitude of society towards medical care for the elderly can
be found at http://www.longtermcarelink.net/eldercare/medical_care_issues.htm )
5. Address not just symptoms—but emotions, too.
There is disease and then there is “dis-ease” – that is, a lack of ease, security or well-
being. “Dis-ease” can manifest itself as myriad emotions in an elderly person: fear,
grief, boredom, embarrassment and sadness among them. The fact is, these emotions
can be every bit as debilitating as disease.
Take the case of a parent who's incontinent. Too embarrassed to socialize, she cuts
herself off from friends. Without companionship, she becomes lonely. Instead of
allowing her to become a hermit, discuss with her doctor how to address the
incontinence. Together, you can consider different solutions that will ease her
embarrassment and reinvigorate her social life.
6. Strive to maximize your parent's quality of life.
No matter our age, we all want to enjoy life to the fullest and have the capability to do
the things we want to. Improving the enjoyment of life and a patient's functional ability
are the cardinal goals of geriatric care. But you don't need a medical diploma on your
wall to help your parent achieve either of those goals.
Being there to solve a problem or provide company are tremendously worthwhile
services you can provide – no expertise required. Remember, as your parent gets
older, his quality of life becomes more important to him than how much longer he lives.
And he doesn't necessarily need medications or surgery to ensure that he's living the
latter part of his life to the fullest.
If he enjoys books but has difficulty reading regular-sized type, check out sight-saving
titles at the library. If he's grieving the loss of his best buddy, introduce him to new
acquaintances at the senior center. If he's living in a nursing home, bring your kids there
to share a meal with him.
Sometimes, it's the small gestures that have the most profound impact. As the child of
an elderly parent, you are uniquely positioned to deliver these life-changing gifts.
Dr. Robert Stall is a geriatrician practicing in Tonawanda, New York and a clinical
associate professor at the University of Buffalo's School of Medicine and Biomedical
Sciences. He serves as medical director and attending physician at Beechwood
Homes in Getzville and Blocher Homes in Williamsville. To learn more about senior
care issues, visit his website at stallgeriatrics.com or call 716-213-4345. For
information on a new program offering balance assessment and fall prevention tips, call
716-213-0772.
by Robert Stall MD, Geriatrician
If you're fortunate enough to have one or both parents still living, you may have noticed
a role reversal taking place in your relationship. Remember the days when Mom
shuttled you to the doctor whenever you were sick? Now, it may be you who's driving
her to her medical appointments. Perhaps you've become even more involved in
managing her healthcare needs – serving as her healthcare proxy, moving her into your
home to care for her, or even having to select a nursing home for her to live in.
Whatever the case, it's natural to feel challenged – and, yes, intimidated – in the role
you've undertaken. But if you stay positive and proactive, you'll be in a great position to
advocate for your parents' optimal care. And, really, what better way is there to say
"Thank You" for all they've done for you over the years?
The following six recommendations will help you understand what may be happening to
your parents as they age – and what you can do to help.
1. Stay vigilant to sudden changes.
Typically, sudden changes arise from sudden problems. Your elderly father who
becomes confused one week but was alert and oriented the week before, or becomes
unsteady walking and starts falling, is likely experiencing an acute problem – an
infection, medication side effect, or perhaps, a heart attack or stroke.
If you pay attention to your parent's baseline health and behavior, you'll be alert to
sudden, and subtle, fluctuations. Being attuned to what's “normal” for your parent is
critical in advocating for his care. By informing his physician of these changes, you help
ensure that he receives a proper diagnosis and timely treatment – especially important
in acute conditions.
2. Investigate the source of gradual decline.
Several years ago, I met an elderly woman living in a nursing home. Her family,
assuming she had dementia, had moved her there after she had gradually stopped
speaking.
After performing a brief procedure on her, I asked how she was doing. “I'm OK,” she
replied.
A miracle? Not exactly. I'd removed bullet-sized pieces of wax from her ears. She'd
stopped speaking because her ears were too plugged to hear.
A host of conditions can cause gradual decline. Before jumping to the conclusion – as
many people do – that Alzheimer's disease is the culprit, recognize that your parent
may be experiencing an altogether different problem: a vitamin B12 deficiency, an
underactive thyroid, Parkinson's disease or depression, to name a few.
When discussing your parent's decline with her physician, make sure the two of you
consider all the possibilities. To prepare for the appointment, make notes detailing how
her decline has manifested itself – loss of appetite, a failing short-term memory and so
forth – and how long you've noticed these changes. That way, you won't leave anything
out. To help you, I've created a free checklist that either you or your parent can
complete at seniorselfassessment.com – make sure you print or email the
“Test Result Details” at the bottom of the page to analyze your responses and
give you advice based on your answers.
3. Know thy parent's medicine cabinet.
Familiarize yourself with the medications your parent takes: what each one is for and
how often he takes them. Make sure you notify each doctor your parent visits of all the
medicine he takes, including over-the-counter products. Ask what side effects you
might observe from each medication and whether it's potentially dangerous if your
parent takes them together. You also want to tell the doctor whether your parent drinks
alcohol or caffeinated drinks and whether he smokes, as these substances can affect
some medications' efficacy and safety. To recognize which medications might cause
the symptoms your parent experiences,
check out drugscanmakeyousick.com .
4. Discourage ageist attitudes.
Simply put, ageism is prejudice against the elderly. It exists in many forms but can be
particularly damaging to an older person's self-esteem when it assumes that all of her
woes are age-related. Here are a couple of ways of expressing ageism to an elderly
parent:
“What do you expect at your age?”
“You're not getting any younger.”
If you're ever tempted to utter something similar, remind yourself that by chalking up
everything that ails her to her age, you sell your parent short. If she's depressed, it may
have nothing to do with the fact that she's 80 and everything to do with a biological
predisposition to depression. And remember that right-knee pain in a 90 year-old can't
be just from age if there's no problem with her left knee. (More about Dr. Stall and a
more in-depth article on the attitude of society towards medical care for the elderly can
be found at http://www.longtermcarelink.net/eldercare/medical_care_issues.htm )
5. Address not just symptoms—but emotions, too.
There is disease and then there is “dis-ease” – that is, a lack of ease, security or well-
being. “Dis-ease” can manifest itself as myriad emotions in an elderly person: fear,
grief, boredom, embarrassment and sadness among them. The fact is, these emotions
can be every bit as debilitating as disease.
Take the case of a parent who's incontinent. Too embarrassed to socialize, she cuts
herself off from friends. Without companionship, she becomes lonely. Instead of
allowing her to become a hermit, discuss with her doctor how to address the
incontinence. Together, you can consider different solutions that will ease her
embarrassment and reinvigorate her social life.
6. Strive to maximize your parent's quality of life.
No matter our age, we all want to enjoy life to the fullest and have the capability to do
the things we want to. Improving the enjoyment of life and a patient's functional ability
are the cardinal goals of geriatric care. But you don't need a medical diploma on your
wall to help your parent achieve either of those goals.
Being there to solve a problem or provide company are tremendously worthwhile
services you can provide – no expertise required. Remember, as your parent gets
older, his quality of life becomes more important to him than how much longer he lives.
And he doesn't necessarily need medications or surgery to ensure that he's living the
latter part of his life to the fullest.
If he enjoys books but has difficulty reading regular-sized type, check out sight-saving
titles at the library. If he's grieving the loss of his best buddy, introduce him to new
acquaintances at the senior center. If he's living in a nursing home, bring your kids there
to share a meal with him.
Sometimes, it's the small gestures that have the most profound impact. As the child of
an elderly parent, you are uniquely positioned to deliver these life-changing gifts.
Dr. Robert Stall is a geriatrician practicing in Tonawanda, New York and a clinical
associate professor at the University of Buffalo's School of Medicine and Biomedical
Sciences. He serves as medical director and attending physician at Beechwood
Homes in Getzville and Blocher Homes in Williamsville. To learn more about senior
care issues, visit his website at stallgeriatrics.com or call 716-213-4345. For
information on a new program offering balance assessment and fall prevention tips, call
716-213-0772.
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