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CAREGIVER DEPRESSION, A NATIONAL CRISIS
Grief: Loss of a Loved One  
article from MedicineNet.com
'Funeral Blues'

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the
public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-- W.H. Auden
A Dog's Purpose From A 4 Year Old

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year old
Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa,
andtheir little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker and
they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer.
I told the family we
couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia
procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would
be good for the
four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure.
They felt as though Shane
might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's
family surrounded him.
Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the
last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.
Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to
accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about
the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up,
"I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next
stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said,
"People are born so that they can learn how to
live a good life --
like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?"
The four-year-old continued,
"Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to
stay as long."
“Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!)”

Mary Frye
Stages of Grief
Acceptance, Hope, Reorganization
Re-entry into a more Normal Life
Depression, Disorganization
Intensely Painful feelings of loss
Shock, Disbelief
Denial
Numbness
Mechanical functioning and social insulation
Pain and Guilt
Bargaining
Anger
shivah, also spelled Shibah, or Shivʿa, (Hebrew: “seven”),
in Judaism, period of seven days of prescribed mourning that begins immediately after the burial of a
parent, a spouse, a child, a brother, or a sister and concludes with sundown on the seventh day.
Shivah is not observed on the intervening Sabbath and terminates if a major religious festival occurs
during the period.
Traditional observance of shivah requires that mourners stay at the home of the deceased,
sit on low stools or on the floor, cover all mirrors, and put on no new garments or leather footwear;
they may not cut their hair or shave, may take no part in ordinary business, and
may not engage in marital relations.
Friends and relatives visit to express their sympathy; men may form a minyan (quorum) for prayers
recited at the home of the deceased. Some mourners burn a seven-day candle in memory of the
departed. Actual observance, especially among Reform Jews, varies considerably.
shivah 2012. Encyclopædia Britannica Online. Retrieved 28 January, 2012, from
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/541207/shivah
A new take on an old tradition
It’s the classic food that somehow tastes like home. It makes us feel, well, comforted. But at a time of loss or
sorrow, it’s so much more. After someone dies or faces hardship, the family doesn’t always have time to plan
meals or run to the grocery store. On top of that, they may have a house filled with out-of-town guests and extra
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For the same price as a flower arrangement, you can send a sympathy gift your recipient will appreciate. Meals
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you order, a Sympathy Food representative will call and set up a time for delivery. You can even leave a
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they can pop it in the freezer to enjoy later.
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Wilmington Memorial Plaque

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A-dog-able Flowers from
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The
Personal Care Attendant
Guide
The Art of Finding,
Keeping, or Being One
by Katie Rodriguez Banister
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